i'm working 'til late, running to catch the train home. i visit my best friend and ask him if he ever feels like not going to work. yeah, he says, all the time. well, i mean, like you really don't want to go to work. he stops what he's doing and he looks at me. why? just wondering, i say.

i try to return a book i got for christmas and the man in the store answers me in such an unpolite way that i end up thinking about it the rest of the evening.

i buy a cake and a cup of tea and sit down with my book, write an sms to someone and hours later when i walk around downtown with my best friend, i get an sms back. i stop talking to read it.

who was it from? he asks. i answer and he laughs and makes fun of me.

a friend of mine asks me if i'm okay alone. if i really am fine alone.

i think "yes", but i don't answer. jens lekman sings that he would cut off his right arm to be someones lover, and i don't relate to that. but of course it would be nice. not that whole arm-thing, but to be someones lover, you know. or, not just someones lover, but someone specials lover.

in spite of all of this, i really am fine. i'm not afraid to tell you, i am perfectly fine and it's a weird feeling. but good.